Raise your hand if you’ve ever been the brunt of cringeworthy, in-your-face questions or remarks from the nosy, taklesa tita, tito, lola, lola, or any long-lost-or-not, 2nd to the nth degree of consanguinity cousin. These encounters usually happen during reunions. With Christmas coming, be forewarned, forearmed, and ready with those lighthearted, charming comebacks that singe. Personally, I find it hard to strike the right balance in making delightful witty replies while drawing blood. But hey, maybe you have the talent.
If our first Christmas video has kurot, this one also has, but more kurot to self. Wake up and be more aware of what comes out of your mouth. In the words of the American talk show host, “Be kind to one another.” I’d like to paraphrase that to “Be kind inside and out.”
Paumanhin | Apologies
Here is the poem by Eljay Castro Deldoc.
Marami talagang napapansin
Ang tulad kong titang singkwentahin
Lalo na kapag may homecoming.
Aba! Bakit nagpula ang hipag kong bigatin?
Muntik pang matalbugan ang kesong nakahain.
Ito namang genggeng kong pamangkin
Mas makulay pa ang make-up sa ilaw na nakabitin.
Pero teka…
Bakit nga ba nagmamaasim
Samantalang kay tamis ng simoy ng hangin?
Noon ako’y lumobo rin
Dahil laging may sangkap na lambing
Ang lutong pagkain.
Noon ako’y baduy rin
Pero mga payak na papuri
Hindi pinagkait sa akin.
Sa gulang kong singkwentahin
Ang dali at ang bilis limutin
Na mga kapwa ko babae’y
Sumusubok lang din na magningning
Lalo na kapag may homecoming.
Paumanhin.
Paumanhin.
This is the English translation for our non-Pinoy readers.
Apologies.
There’s always something quick to see
A flaw or two by folks like me—
Especially at a homecoming spree.
Oh my! Why’s my plump in-law in red?
She nearly outshone the Edam ball in the spread.
And look at my niece, what a horrible sight,
her makeup’s brighter than the Christmas light!
But wait a sec…
Why wear this frown, why feel this sting,
When the breeze outside feels sweet as spring?
I too was once a little round,
For every meal had love profound
In every taste and sound.
I too once dressed without much flair,
Yet simple praise was always there,
No judgment in the air.
At fifty-three, how swift, how slight,
To mock, forget, dismiss from sight—
That women too just wish to shine,
To catch one glow, one moment fine,
Especially come homecoming night.
Apologies.
Apologies.
Traditional Christmas Palette
For this video, we chose a palette of the traditional Christmas colors of red, green, and yellow (gold) because that’s what my good, old, Christmas days looked like.
As a child, I would always get the comments—you’ve grown or you’ve gotten taller. Although I really didn’t care when hearing it from adults, seeing it more of a slight inconvenience for being stopped when I was playing, it became more of an irritation to hear it year after year. Then, when I got to the tita age, I heard myself saying the same thing to babies who became toddlers who became preschool who became school age. It was getting so old, and I sympathized with kids whom I inflicted that observation on. I could do better than just spouting boring and trite appeals of connection.
Why not let the kids be if they are having fun with others? Or seek someone who may be alone and may have the time to exchange pleasantries. Titas and Titos, do remember to just be chill, and to listen more than talk. It’s really interesting to hear about young people’s interests and the world that they call their own. Especially in a country with a relatively young population (median age of 26), older generations have a lot to learn too.
Real Connections
I was looking for witty comebacks to tita comments, and found this instead. So funny!
This Christmas, let’s try for real connections, and restrain ourselves from mouthing ordinary and unexciting comments, or even worse, judgmental jabs. Reunions are times to bridge gaps between you and family members, and this attitude of kind active listening makes for lovely conversations.
Try it. Then you don’t have to ask for paumanhin.
Click on the link of our first Christmas video. We are looking forward to showing the two more we made for our readers. Subscribe to this blog to get notified quickly on new posts.
