In 2019, I wrote about cohousing or co-living, a growing trend at the time. Today in the Philippines, this is now part of the landscape for digital nomads and young professionals.
Multigenerational living is also becoming increasingly popular, driven especially by younger Boomers and Gen X. The Covid pandemic is considered to have accelerated the trend where extended families want to live together for support and safety.
Although co-housing and multigenerational living involve shared living spaces and social interaction, there is a difference between the two. Co-housing is initiated by a group of people, like close friends, for example, who design a home and take care of the management of the household. At its roots, co-housing is an intentional community.
Multigenerational living is a household structure and involves having two or more adult generations residing in the same home. This could mean grandparents, parents, and children. It could also include extended family members and in-laws.
A co-housing complex can be used as a multigenerational living space, but there are other ways to set up this living arrangement, such as retrofitting a traditional home, or using several units in a condo building or a row of apartments. There are wealthy families in the country who have opted to build houses in a compound. It is important to protect the privacy of each nuclear family, while maintaining the proximity to aging family members and young children who require care.
Advantages of Multigenerational Living
Financial benefits
Housing affordability today is a challenge for most people. Many Filipinos find it difficult to buy a home because of steep property prices vis-à-vis income growth. Also, most people in low-income households are not eligible for mortgage financing. So when there is a possibility to live in a multigenerational home, this can be a welcome opportunity. Sharing expenses like housing costs, rent, groceries, and utilities reduces “housing stress”, and helps family members to better afford food, education, healthcare, and clothing.
Enhanced childcare
“It takes a village to raise a child.” Raising children to become responsible adults requires the support of a wider community, not only the parents.
Loving and responsible childcare is difficult to find. Having family around to jump in and take care of your children is such a precious gift when you are hindered by your work obligations .
Strengthened family bonds
Sharing a home strengthens family bonds between the different generations. Family traditions, history, and values are more easily passed on to the younger generation. The young can also teach the older ones about the new developments in their world. This exchange helps bridge whatever generation gaps exist. Sharing experiences and points-of-view help each family member widen their perspective and understanding of the world.
Knowing your roots gives one a stronger sense of identity and belonging, which increases emotional well-being.
Social interaction and support
In today’s world, loneliness is a growing concern. Isolation is now seen as a cause of mental health challenges like depression or anxiety. Loneliness can also increase the risk of chronic diseases and negatively impacts cardiovascular health. High-quality social connections are important for a person’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Living together with family provides you your very own barkada, the ride or die relationships that can get you through thick and thin.
Disadvantages of Multigenerational Living
Reduced privacy
For some people who are jealous of their privacy, living in this type of household may not be ideal. There will always be people around you who may need your attention or help when all you want to do is rest after a full day’s work, or who would have strong opinions about how you should raise your kids or live your life.
Before you even start this kind of living arrangement, there should be a discussion about having firm boundaries, which is tricky if you are dealing with family.
Potential for generational conflict
Generational gaps are a reality. Even at work, Gen X may have difficulty with Millennials, or Millennials with Gen Z, and vice versa. Imagine having a mix of generations from Boomers all the way to Gen Alpha, and you could have a ticking time bomb in your home.
Again, you’d all have to discuss firm boundaries before you all start living together, and have regular open communication about things that bring you joy and stuff that don’t sit well with you.
Less time to enjoy retirement or time off work
Time for enjoying retirement may be compromised when grandparents are seen as convenient babysitters. Although many grandparents would love to have the opportunity of having their grandkids close by, being the primary nanny may be too much of a burden.
The sandwich generation, those who are in their 40s to 60s who are taking care of their kids and aging parents, may also get mired in the many chores that a household brings—like getting the groceries, gardening, answering IT questions, taking care of banking matters, etc.—when all they may want to do during their free time is to just sit and vegetate.
Discuss these things openly and respectfully. Carve out me-time for yourselves.
Difficulty in managing shared resources
Managing shared resources can become a source of aggravation for those who carry the burden more, unless this is discussed openly and agreed upon by the family members right from the start.
Multigenerational Living
With these pros and cons, do you think you’d be one of those who will welcome this kind of living arrangement?
First, you really need to know yourself very well if you do plan to have this kind of household. Add to that the thoughts and opinions of your partner, which you have to factor in when weighing the idea of multigenerational living. If you go ahead with this arrangement, be aware of any stirrings of animosity, root them out, and don’t allow them to fester by discussing things openly. Let everyone realize that this negative energy can totally subvert the meaning of home as a sanctuary and a safe space.
The multigenerational living spaces shown in the two videos are new builds. However, the family can also renovate an existing home to create spaces that give privacy to the different nuclear families living in the house. Or if the lot is big enough, you can add structures like granny pods.
How can you make multigenerational living work? Keep communication lines open, consider the needs and preferences of all family members, respect personal boundaries, share responsibilities so that housework is distributed fairly among the family members, and co-manage shared resources well.
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