There is a male-specific home interior space called the man cave. Supposedly coined in 1993 by John Gray in his book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” the man cave is a place where the human male goes when he wants to unwind and gets rid of stresses, to get away from family, to do things he loves, or to simply be alone.
Everyone, independent of sexual orientation or gender preference, have similar needs. Read about the She Shed: The Female Equivalent to the Man Cave.
Dads’ Views on the Man Cave
Papa. Tatay. Daddy. They have many names but many of us see them as protectors and providers. They’re more than that though. Just like you and I, they’re flesh and blood with beating hearts that yearn and dream. Get to know him better as a person and allow him to see who you really are. Relationships evolve and are strengthened when we see each other as people, beyond the roles we play.
I asked a few male friends (who are fathers) what they thought of a man cave. Here are some of the answers.
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For me, I call it my Butingting room. It’s a room where I can do anything I want to do and not be bothered for a day or two. It is also a room that never gets fixed as it accumulates a lot of stuff to be butingting. It is also a room that you would not like other people to get comfortable in as you want it just for you.
My respite. My gym, guitar room, and where I store what my wife calls my junk.
Personal spaces, be it man caves or whatever label it may go with, are essential. Though social beings by nature, pulling away from the daily grind in a safe spot, guards down, meditating, and just being with our thoughts are what regroup and realign ourselves with our own God-given vision.
Man caves are psychological spaces for grown men to indulge in a temporary state of bliss to heal himself from past deprivation, misspent youth, and current crises. These spaces are usually filled with material objects that are masterfully hidden or intentionally undervalued to circumvent conflicts with the wife.
I definitely want a man cave where I can listen to music or watch TV by myself without worrying about disturbing others. Sometimes when I watch my favorite NBA team, I shout a lot in excitement. My man cave is currently our former lanai which we converted into a room. It has a sliding door which one can close to separate it from the master bedroom.
My hideout. A place where I can make my mind wander. My chillax space.
I do not have any use for a man cave. I think this is popular in the US where they may have a billiard table, a huge TV, or a place to watch a game and entertain your buddies. But in my home, I prefer to use such a space for the family instead.
Caves? Why? Do we (everyone, all genders) still have the need to blow ground mineral pigments on our hands to stencil or draw bison or mammoths on cave walls? If this is about isolationism, then I personally don’t see why it needs to be in a house, especially a family house. Tired from work? Go on a vacation.
For me, it is my storage room for tools & spares. I want things to be stored in specific places so I know where to find them when needed. When wifey does her thing, all those stuff that I consider trash gets stored there for God knows how long. And my arrangement goes awry. So after cleaning it out & disposing of the “trash”, I lock it & keep the key.
There you go. The dads had different takes on the usefulness of a man cave. If you have a different opinion, do share it with us in the comment section.
Suggested Paint Colors for Man Caves
A man cave is not new at all. This interior space in a home was already in existence in Ancient Greece and was called Andron. A similar space for women also existed and it was known as gynaeceum. These were spaces where individuals could enjoy their solitude, practice a hobby, decorate as they want, entertain their friends, etc.
Usually, interiors are handled by the woman of the house. In a man cave, it’s the man’s aesthetics that rules. For the paint color palette, I take inspiration from the gentlemen’s club for the upper crust of British society that started in London in the 18th century, and became wildly popular in the following century.
Either go for the many shades of chocolate, or explore the broody blacks.
Happy Father’s Day
We wish all the fathers out there a Happy Father’s Day. May you have a day where you can fully enjoy yourself and your family, no matter what you think about the usefulness of man caves.
To the children and partners, make Father’s Day a special one for the man of the house.